- This is a surprisingly interesting paper that I almost didn’t read.
- The author went through a 10-week on-line course with a coach on “sologamy”, ending in a 5 minute karaoke-style marriage ceremony, despite the fact that she has been married for 10 years and still has a husband and two children, who were in the “audience”, along with 500 other random individuals.
- She appears to have undertaken it basically to find out what it’s all about – which is basically to make single women self-sufficient.
- Her conclusion is that it is relationships that make us most human.
- The concluding two paragraphs are:-
- Self-marriage is about attempting to hijack conventions about female singlehood; by doing so, it shows us the limitations of our own society. However, the truly revolutionary way forward would lie in aspiring for a society where aﬀection, care and love would not have to be sanctioned by marriage alone but would be lived and accepted in all possible forms.
- To liberate ourselves from the great expectations of a self-centred emotional meritocracy, we need to be more upfront about our need for attachment. The rediscovery and re-invention of attachment should pertain to all sorts of relationships, sexual or not, romantic or not, intimate, passionate or professional. Regardless of the context, practising attachment means being empathetic, being ready to experience pain, and acknowledging that we need others to be fully human.
- Sub-title: "Self-marriage promises love and fulfilment – but is it a radical act or a depressing concession to self-absorption?"
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